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It Needs To Be Said

It Needs To Be Said

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We all have met this type of person, the friend we are supporting, the family we cheer on, or the workout partners we nudge to keep on going. As much as we push them, as often as we shine the positive light on their accomplishments, they just can't seem to return the favor. We are all conditioned to commend the ones who lose 100lbs or those who have never worked out before, but why do those of us who maintain no matter what never get anything but shunned?

Now, let me first preface this by saying I am not a snobby, cocky lady. However, let's all be honest. We have been around this type of person at one time or another. Myself personally, I have been going through this with someone who is a close friend. She has a very real, very difficult, emotional relationship with food. When I began competing last year, she was with me all the way. She is of a stronger build, so she went after female bodybuilding. We texted each other when we were starving, brought each other coffee when we wanted to crawl back into bed. It was what you need when you go on this journey. Long story short, we both learned a lot from our first show. I now knew I was going to get my Pro Card no matter what. She knew she couldn't continue with bodybuilding because she didn't want to be that large. It was an amazing, bonding experience.

I kept on training, put myself out there where ever I could. I asked constant questions about workouts, diet, moods, and everything else in between. I happen to be a die hard fan of Jamie Eason. She has figured out how to maintain this lifestyle year round. Notice I say lifestyle, not diet, not workouts, it is a life long choice. Now, I myself have been a little larger at times than what I would have wished. You push through, you suffer a little at times, and somehow, along the way, you find out what you are really made of.

In the fall competition season this last past year, I went at it alone. My friend had put quite a bit of weight back on and had to have foot surgery so she could run again like she used to. During this time frame, I placed at both shows and did it alone. The rest of my friends do not understand this "hobby" as they put it. I happen to also live alone. Now, I do not add this in for pity's sake. It is a fact that show days and prep are much harder without a team, a trainer, or a signifigant other to holler from the crowd.

During this time, my friend would gripe about her weight, continue to eat, feel sorry for herself, and now began to insult my progress. Everytime I would tell her to take smaller steps so the diet wouldn't seem so overwhelming, she would say " Must be nice to have to gain muscle and not have any fat on you.".
Each and everytime, some new snippy comment from her or my manager at the gym. I should also mention I am a full-time office manager, but I work nights as a personal trainer and fitness instructor. My own co-workers had daily remarks of how I don't cheat on my diet (well, not like they do, I cheat with dark chocolate and cream in my coffee ). They would comment how I "had it so easy". Someone please tell me how this is easy!!!

This body took devotion, it took pride, and to be exact, it takes 14 hours a week of training. You know how they say "It's a marathon, not a sprint."? Well, as you ladies know, it is both. It is tears, sweat, anxiety, frustration, and not to mention the pain. I have had arthritis and fibromyalgia my whole life. This fitness lifestyle gets me through the bad days. The less weight you carry, the less stress on you spine. The less junk food in you, the less inflammation in your joints. This is a marathon AND a sprint.

I love my friends, but I can't expect them to understand. You are either in or you are out. There is no halfway. Is that my personal take on it, yes! Do I regret that ever? No!! This site has meant that somehow, some way, I am not alone in this. It is not right that we applaud someone who loses all their bad weight, but then they go off their diet and have to start over. I wish more people would realize maintaining is a huge undertaking. Yes, if you love this life, you get used to the food. You learn that you love how you feel and you love what you are now capable of. We should applaud everyone who whether they lose a great deal of weight AND the ones who can keep training and keep it off. I get called the "skinny bitch" who never has to worry about what she eats. That is not fair or right. What lies beneath took years.

Lastly, ladies, I think what bothers me more at the end of the day is this. You have to be there for yourself. Friends are there to support, but thats just it, support. You have to become your own foundations for greatness. This type of living is not for everyone and so what?? It's our choice and our bodies. We don't go around judging those at the fast food drive thru window? We shouldn't be judging anyone in a perfect world. Everyday we train is a battle in hopes to win the war, and I for one will never stop fighting. This is 80% mental and 20% physical. You have to love and believe in yourselves before anyone else can even try.

Author: Jen Fleck
jviolet26@yahoo.com

Member Comments

If I didn't know better, I would've thought I wrote this! Amen sister! Keep up the fight! :)
--i1tiger

It's so wonderful to know someone else can relate!!! Never quit! :)
-Jen
--Violet26

100% true!
--aford

This is true! It is amazing how when you are losing everyone is supportive and encouraging and then when you get there they say things like "well it's easy for you!"
--missymoyo

Extremely encouraging thanks for sharing!
--Teej2013

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